So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize