I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
