dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
