The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
