Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
