Ambien. No doubt about it.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
