Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He felt like a one man threesome
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
