Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
