The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
