whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
