Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Success! We fucked roommates!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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