i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize