I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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