I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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