Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
