Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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