The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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