He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I FOUND THE LEGS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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