That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
