ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize