shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
