Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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