I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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