what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
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Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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