You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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