You're completely useless in the revolution.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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