He is an equal opportunity slut.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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