Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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