So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
