I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
only you would photoshop your dick
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
