3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
