i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
