By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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