just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
