I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
