I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
