I don't usually arrange sex via text message
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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