i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
