Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
