Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
