It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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