we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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