erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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