wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.