I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well