She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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