Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
