no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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