My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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