he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
