Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
