My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
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I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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