tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
