I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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