There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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