I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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