I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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