Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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