His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i came on her dog
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
