She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
