Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
