So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
