TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
